railenthe: wtf!Cloud (wtf)

So today marks the…I think the ninth day that I’ve been on a new medication for the pain that I’ve been having in my back and sides, for the nerve pain that happens for fibromyalgia.


In case you missed the details, we double-confirmed the diagnosis at the recent doctor’s visit, wherein I got the phone call from the doctor that went “Uhhhhhhh, how soon can can you get in here again?” and moved the appointment up from a month from now to last Monday. After I managed to drag myself to that appointment and described the pain that I’d been having (“It’s like having this big guy who’s wearing giant stiletto heels wrapped in thumbtacks dancing on THESE pressure points on the back side of my body. Oh, and they’re all on fire.”) I asked him if there was anything that we could do to see if that was actually fibro--like some kind of test or something--or if we could do anything else to see what it could be.

“Well,” he said after giving me one hell of a People’s Eyebrow (Google Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson if you’ve never seen this phenomenon before) “there aren’t any tests for fibromyalgia out there, so we can’t exactly test for that.”

“Faugh,” I said, right before a nice little stab of pain sent me into a pretzel twist. “Urrf. What’s the good news?”

“The good news is fibro pain? Basically what you’ve just told me, plus now we have an explanation for that ridiculous fatigue you’ve been having.”

“I don’t know if I LIKE this kind of good news, doc,” I said seriously.

“The good news is that there’s a medication that helps for this and that it’s available for cheap as a generic, unlike that new thing that’s on the market now--I don’t trust that one, for the record. It hasn’t been around enough and they’ve changed the marketing about four times already.”

“Well, good to know we know something,” I said, trying to move my arms further than they had been for the last couple of days. What else do I need to know?”

“It’s in the literature. Just trust me.”

It’s been around nine days that I’ve been on this medication. That’s not a long time to evaluate the effects of a drug on anything, but I have noticed a difference since starting it. Mostly, the main difference that I’ve noticed is that I’m not as dead tired as I used to be. The vague overspent feeling that I’ve had in my muscles for as long as I can recall is gone, fading slowly as my rest actually starts to do some damn good for once in my life. The stabbing-burning-scraping pain that I have been getting in my back has started to back off throughout the day, though there is some soreness that is still coming on throughout the day when I work and run errands--that is to be expected, according to my doctor, since I only just started this medication and it took this long to figure out what the hell we were dealing with in the first place. I’m also actually able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour again--this stuff kicks in FAST and before I’m aware what’s happened I’m kind of just “blaaaaaaghaldaldfjldfj.”

But I feel better than I have in a long time, and that is a huge victory.


The start of a new month means a stack of new financial things to worry about. Of course, that means it’s time to do some strategizing. While running around on an electronic cigarette forum I got a job lead about tech support. I take a test that features actual questions, and then a bunch of weirdly placed jokes (”If all trout are fish, and all fish live in the sea, then what can you say about mackerel?”), and out of nowhere, I GET AN OPPORTUNITY for a new job. The interview was yesterday, and I found out that the training--the training itself pays more than my current line of work does, and I’d be working from home. I’d be the dude you get when you call the internet people about your router, wondering why your router isn’t working to get the “Have you tried turning it off and then on again?” and then the “Okay, since we’ve tried that, let’s give it a little goose with this setting here, and here and here and there we go all fixed!” Yep, things are looking up. $10/hour for full time after training is done, and $9 during training. I ONLY MAKE $8.25 (minimum wage) RIGHT NOW. So you can imagine the incredibly bad happy victory dancing I do when I get this info.

I’m on the bus running errands when I get the blip-boop of an email. It’s the hiring department of the place. They need my upgraded specs (?) and the connection speed. Since I don’t HAVE upgraded specs, I do my CURRENT specs and explain that I have no idea what they are talking about, and then do my speed test.

Then I find out the minimum speed is 5mbps.

My speed is 3.94 maxed.

The fastest in the area? That would be Charter, and the only other option in this old-ass building.





The worst thing here is if I clear this out, they’ll know exactly what happened. Two of them are using this ill-gotten connection to get their college classes done--that will be held against me if I have it shut down and dragged over here where it belongs. I only JUST fixed that bridge, and now I’d have to burn it?

Fuck. Me.

Back to the rat race. So much for full time work.

*trudges off*

railenthe: (Grr arg *stress'd*)

It seems that every time I think that I know what’s going on, something changes.

*enters EX Mode* )

railenthe: (We're screwed.)

In hindsight, this is kind of funny, but when it happened I was so ticked.  It’s just the kind of thing that can only happen to me.


I should turn this shit into a screenplay.  The gods know I’ve got enough material to create at least a miniseries.


*fires up the phone!tether and prays the data doesn’t crap out* )

railenthe: (ticked)

I’m officially pressing my luck.


Sitting on my floor are two grocery bags. …well, technically three, but the other two things are medicine and a water filter, so they don’t really count. Seventy dollars or so of groceries (which, even buying store brands from discount chains, ain’t much), plus things that I can use to make emergency snacks for work. I think I can survive until next payday if I STRICTLY adhere to the following guidelines:


  • One bag of beer-battered fish filets: if I have ONE with a meal four times a week, I’ll have a protein until payday.  That would leave me with two for payday.
  • Three days of this time will see a supper of fruit, cheese, and summer sausage with crackers and peanut butter.
  • Snacks will be cheese, almond butter, and marmite on crackers drizzled with honey.  Limited to one small plate a day.
  • Breakfast will be a bowl of cereal with almond milk and a boiled egg.  Regular skim milk when the almond milk runs out—and guess who just found out she’s mildly lactose intolerant now?  Luckily, I bought some Lactaid, so that won’t be an issue…at least until it runs out.
  • Lunch: sandwiches with lunchmeat on homemade bread.  When I run out of lunchmeat…well, I’m not going to think about that until it happens.  I still have…two days worth, so I have lunch for Wednesday and tomorrow.
  • Padding all of this is rice, beans and bread.

I should mention that this is cheap cheese: it’s more additive than cheese.  But there’s a pound of it, at least.  I have to make $70 of food last a while.


If I’m lucky, I’ll get a hand from my dad.  Whether that happens or not, I’m going to have to get myself a little help here.  I’ve still got three bills left to pay—light, rent, and gym.  (Before you give me grief on my gym membership, guys: it’s the only place with equipment I can use to work this knee.  And that knee, despite my work is STILL showing wasting, so stopping altogether is—what’s the word…BAD.)


…well, I’ve lived through worse.  I got a cushion of frozen fruit that I can cook into different things.

*fifteen minutes later*

I just noticed something amiss: I am missing a two-pound bag of sugar and a pound of flour.  THAT’S the reason behind the hole in my bag.  And I don’t know when it went missing.  I wouldn’t have ever noticed, either, if I hadn’t just now stopped to make the thing.


*deep breath*


Looks like I’m cashing in my change jar soon.  I needed those to make the tart I was going to make and freeze as an emergency source of fast (semi) healthy snacking.


*Glare, directed upwards*


Let’s see what you got, Fate!   You think you’re so big?!  Well, FUCK your capricious nature, Fate!  I’ll make my own!  Now BUZZ OFF and let me figure out how I’m going to make what is now $65 worth of food last for two weeks.  </rage>


…I suppose I can make that tart later in the week, if I get enough money in tips.  If.

EDIT:  6:21




I just did inventory of what I came home with, and not only are the flour and sugar missing, but so’s the apples and peanut butter.


…First person who crosses me gets a sgian dubh to the eye.  I mean it.

railenthe: (Grr arg *stress'd*)

I received the paycheck this week with some enthusiasm.  Things were starting to look dicey.  Even so, I wasn’t quite prepared for what I was going to see when I opened the thing.


This paycheck was not enough to cover the bills.


I looked at the check, then broke out my phone and its portable checkbook calculator.  I had luckily enough foresight to put away a bit of cash just in case the money got funny—and boy, did it.  That little $100 cushion is what’s got me able to pay my bills, all but the light bill (which, inexplicably, is late in getting to me); but, as it is, after everything that I CAN pay is paid off, I’ll be left with exactly $26.19 until the fifteenth.


…yeah, it’s gotten rough. )

railenthe: (WTF?)
 I tried to clean my apartment today. They skipped the monthly building extermination, and so the bugs had a chance to rebound. Which means that even in my usually spotless apartment, I have had to deal with a few six-legged invaders. There is no reason for them to be in my apartment: I am good at making sure that there are no food sources for the bastards to nom on. But I saw several of them…or the same one several times; there are a few instances where I wasn't sure whether or not I actually connected with that shoe.

So I decided, "Fuck it, I'm gonna pull the bed out, search for what attracted them, and plug the holes with borax—kill the suckers where they stand."

As I moved to move my bed away from the wall, my knee stabbed at me. Then there was a crunch, a sensation that felt like what you hear when you tear a cardboard box apart, then burning. Then stabbing.

It's happened. I'm unable to do a total of fifty-percent of my apartment maintenance now.

THIS BED IS ON WHEELS. Well-oiled wheels. And yet…here I am, lying on my bed using my computer as a warm pack, waiting for the stabbing to wear off so I can do the cooking that's expected of me in time.

Add all this to the fact that my painkillers seem to have stopped working…

…I think I might be in trouble.
railenthe: (WTF?)
 I’ve let a few pieces of my draft sit for a while, and it’s getting to the point where it’s getting moderately frustrating.

So what happened? )


railenthe: (Default)
Three and a quarter in the morning, and still I lie awake.

Not because of pain oddly enough.

Some joker started a fight in the hallway (I could hear them outside my door even with my 'phones on) and it progressed to the point where one or more of the parties involved decides to leave the building.

However they leave through one of the emergency exits.  This, in turn, sets up the emergency alarm system to go off.  The alarm system in the building was just revamped, with an annoying digital-sounding klaxon noise, clicks, and lights.

The new system, though not as bad as the faulty old one, has its own problems: namely that the security staff doesn't have a key.  They didn't have the key to the old system either, but at least they had the delay code.  This new one, not so much.

To add insult to insomnia, the local fire department, who usually handled the old system's false alarms, doesn't yet have the keys for the new system.

Therefore, I have been sitting up awake for the last hour or so, listening to a combination of people freaking out and cursing through their walls (and in one unit's case, the ceiling) and the alarm system itself.

A pair of noise-canceling headphones would be nice right now, but what I've got is almost as good: a thick pillow, a headscarf long enough to tie around the pillow and 'phones, and an iPod full of good ambient.  Brian Eno to be specific.  Specifically designed to pull the ear away from shit like BLARING FALSE ALARMS.
railenthe: (Tired)
If I am to be shot for that joke, then please let it be in the leg so that someone will actually go in and fix my knee.

The pain in my leg, as of this writing, is not allowing me to sleep.  Neither is it allowing me to rest, because if I don't move it at least slightly it progresses to the point where I simply cannot cope.  Stabbing, burning, searing--and tonight, what I think equates to wringing the muscle out like a towel.

Of course I'd like to sleep.  It's a little difficult.  Even with my favorite ambient on in the background, Hypnos fails to grace me with even the ability to nap.

So instead I'm up blogging again.

On the upside, I have an interesting story. )
railenthe: (Default)


It was 7:58 a.m.  The phone was ringing.

I shoved my hand underneath the couch pillow from where I lay in bed.  The phone had time for one more vzzt! before I was able to answer it.  The word that went “Hello” in my head came out sounding more like “Hrmmvm.”

Let me be straight here.  I was not ready for this.  Today was my day off.  I arranged to at least get Tuesdays steady off so that I could be home for housekeeping/extermination inspections.  Today that was especially important because my fridge is acting kind of stupid.  So it was with considerable irritation that I listened to my supervisor explaining that she’d really like it if I came in today.

I’d had a two-day stretch of 16-room clipboards.  That meant a minimum of 12 hours in two days.  That sounds good, but anyone who’s done it before knows that housekeeping in seriously grueling work.  I explained my situation—that I’d need another day this week to rearrange my fridge fix, and that since she’d called right on top of the 8:02 bus, I’d have to wait another half hour before I could actually leave.

“I’ll be there in an hour and a half,” I concluded after a little more “rrgl-rrgl-mrrgl-mrrgl”-ing.  I raided the fridge, threw some random but wholesome food into my lunchbox (actually, it’s a small cooler), threw my iPod and ‘phones on my head, and got outside just in time to see the bus pulling up.

The commute’s most interesting feature?  A cocky guy behind me with a lisp who was griping at his girlfriend misunderstanding directions loudly enough to hear through noise-cancelling ‘phones.  I was happy to get off that bus.  I tromped through the snow and into the building, put away my food, and found my supervisor.

“Um, what are you doing here?”

Um…what?  “I made it here, like I said I would.  Just waiting for my marching orders.”

“I said I didn’t need you today.”

No, she didn’t.  “No, you didn’t.”  I recounted the phone record.

“You said yes at first, then you said something else.”

“Yes—that I’ll be an hour and a half before I got here.”

“But you weren’t clear about it.”

“What I said was—”  And this went on for about fifteen minutes before I gave up and went home, after asking the odds of getting called in/off tomorrow.

Yes, you read that right.  They called me in.

Then they called me back off again.


I call shenanigans.

railenthe: (Railenthe)
I just found a Dissidia!Slash community.  Quick, too.

Now I have an excuse to write that damn Tidus/Firion that's been running through my head.

railenthe: (Default)
I looked at my stats today and noticed that I have over 200 entries in this thing.  I didn't think that I'd been THAT active, considering how much of the recent year that I either didn't have access to a machine, or just didn't think I was up to anything interesting enough to blab about.

Then again I have to think of things like this:  this is a blog.  I could talk about my new shoes if I wanted to, and it really doesn't matter just how interesting I am at any given moment.  If I'm read, I'm read.

On that note, I've started paying closer attention to what I save and spend.  Since I'm saving up for a computer (again!), I have to be careful on what money goes in and out.  A few of my favorite splurges have gone out of the window; I haven't bought a book or a CD in a long while.  For my music fix I pretty much stay on Last.fm and Pandora.com.  As far as books are concerned I practically live in the library already, so that's covered, too.

Classes?  It depends on just how slow the slow season.  I'm going to keep an eye out on a few apps that I've got floating around at the moment, but I'm not sure which of these will pan out.  Whenever one does finally manage to work out for me, I'm going straight to my manager and offering a bit of a deal: if he wants me on reserve as a housekeeper, that's the plan.  If he doesn't like the sound of that idea, then I will simply hand over my two weeks' notice.  I can't keep working at that job if I can't get decent hours.

(Furthermore, the satisfaction level is dropping steadily right now.  I have never seen morale at the hotel as low as it is right now.  If things keep up the way that they are right now, then there won't be anyone left by New Year.  Hiring is hard enough right now; there aren't that many people who actually want to do housekeeping work, and the number who stay around after completing training is lower still.  There are four of us that are assured of our positions right now, and of those, three are definitely out at New Year.  That leaves—well, me.  If my offer pans out, though, I'm outta there, too.

What a life,eh?  Good thing that I've got other things to look forward to on those blissful days where I don't work.
railenthe: (*doom*)

So today, on the way to class to get ready to hopeully not fail an algebra test, I forgot my calculator.  I got snapped at by my stepmom about forgetting things.

What I wanted to say was:  "Well, if you wouldn't constantly take my stuff and stuff it into the nearest closet without saying anything to me then I wouldn't have this thrice-damned problem!"  I said nothing, however, though I veritably seethed back there in the bucket seat of the van.  She insists on accompanying me on the five minute ride to the bus stop, as if I would plot something in her absence.

It reminded me of why I still have a bag packed in the back of said closet.  I don't know if we're bailing, but it doesn't seem like my keys will be sent any time soon.

It's hard, living in a place where all of your space is limited to roughly one third of a closet.  I'm afraid I'll lose writing in that place.  But, I'll have to live with it until I can get something else.  I'm just tired of the bull, and I'm ready for something else.

I'm seriously in the wrong line of work…Gotta look into going into journalism.
railenthe: (Princesses pwn.)

As I was trying to figure out what to write, floating around on the Reign of Bohemians website, I started listening to music.  I'd been trying to think of something for days, and nothing was working.  So I browsed around on my profile on Last.fm and saw some songs that I hadn't heard in a while.

I hadn't heard them in a while because I am not a subscriber, and therefore have a limit imposed on how many times I can on-demand a track.  To get around my craving for this song, I went to Rhapsody's site and burned a few free-trial listens on the song that I had to listen to.

This is really trippy. )
railenthe: (Chibi Sora)

I got to class today, and since apparently no one was able to keep an attention span of more than three seconds we broke early once for ten minutes.  I decided to have dinner (pizza rolls) and a beverage.

After some thought about it I decided to have a Red Bull.  I'd never had one, but I figured if not now, when?  Besides, it contains a lot of caffeine, and since caffeine is actually a pretty good decongestant, I figured it wouldn't be a bad choice.

I didn't mind the taste at all.  Actually I thought it was good. There's just one problem.  A couple of 'em.

I had a cup of matcha before I got here.  After that, I had a cup of strong black tea.

Uh…yeah.  I'm hyper now.  Not sure how I'm getting to sleep.  rofl

railenthe: (Default)
So my phone got stolen today.  I checked with every vehicle I was on, left it a voicemail, checked with some guards…and finally reported the sumva as stolen.  I got sixty days to get that fixed, but til then I'm not really going to worry about it.  The phone's locked now so no one can mess with it.  =P  !
railenthe: (Default)
Before I begin:  HOLY CRAP, this song rocks.

Apparently, when I backed up some of my documents, the hard drive was too far gone to pick up on a few updates to it.  At the very least, I can remember what I did and probably get it down better than what I did before.  I remember in the initial draft of the updates, the writing was actually kind of clunky and unwieldy, so when I get it down I will have to clean it up and go again.  I remember getting it down as fast as I could manage to make my fingers go.

The upside is that, especially where a certain pivotal scene is concerned, I can make it flow better and make it make more sense in the context of the story.  But…I'm going to have to give up quite a few off days to catch up with where I left off on this one.  It was at least twenty pages of standard single-spaced typing.

But if I just rant about it, I won't catch up to where I left off, will I?  It's time to get started again.  Especially now that I do in fact have the absolute perfect playlist for this mission.
railenthe: (WTF?)
Going to the bank on payday is always a fun thing to do.  Especially if you've made a detour to hit the mall, hunt a survey-person, and take the surveys for a little bit of extra cash on the side to stretch your check a little bit farther.  As usual I fill out the slips and get a balance.

THAT is when I find out that I OWE $142.02.
Wait a minute.  What?  The hell?

railenthe: (TEA)
My computer's optical drive, though now it actually will open, doesn't seem to detect when it is inserted into the machine.  I'm not sure what's going on with it, but today I'm going to get a free diagnostic for it today.  (If you couldn't tell by the text mods, I'm getting frustrated.)

Until I have a working machine my updating will be erratic at best.  I'm not sure when I'll have the chance to really be active again but until then I do have a contingency plan.  I'm keeping my brain working by using some old technology.  It's called a spiral journal with a hard cover and a Zebra F-301 pen.  (There's a rant in there somewhere about writers' neurotic habits but it's going to have to wait until I've actually gotten it written and junk.  No use in getting too far ahead of myself, right?)

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