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railentheYou know that ‘point of no return’ moment?
That moment when you realize: “I’m not sure what I did to get here, but there’s no way out of this situation that ends well for me” sort of moment?
You know the ones, They usually end with you going, “Oh, sweet Cosmos. I’m fucked, aren’t I?”
Those moments.
They happen a lot on the World Map during 000: Confessions of the Creator.
Like when you zone into a different area and OH HAI, I JUST AGGROED A MANIKIN I COULDN’T EVEN SEE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Two options there: either run like hell and lose KP (the most frequent option, as I tend to run around underleveled to hit the KP bonus line) or pray to whatever god may be listening for a win.
And this isn’t an uncommon occurrence, either. I’ve personally managed to aggro the Delusory Warlock that wanders the Mt. Gulg area three times recently, all three underleveled—thankfully, the second and third times with the rules set so that I do massive damage and have a rapid-fill EX gauge/Assist Gauge. Sure, he can abuse the rules, but I’m better at it!
Then there’s the “Monster-
Manikin-In-A-Box” chests. Of all the classic Final Fantasy references to make
it through, THESE had to get in too? FUUUUUU.
Remember Day 12? When I went on and on about what led up to my favorite music track—the Feral Chaos-In-A-Box incident?
Well, take that, replace FC with random level 123 manikins, and—here’s the good part—MAKE IT SEVEN CHESTS.
Chains don’t work on those things—I wasted a Soundwave that way. At least they’re full of sweet loot, or else I would have destroyed what is currently my third PSP.
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Date: 2011-06-20 10:16 pm (UTC)Never gonna bother with KP. La-la-la-la~! No siree!
Ugh, Delusory Warlock... I hate fighting against Golbez. I've yet to find a character's playstyle that screws him over as much as he does my party. Kuja seems to handle him best due to resorting to Ultima, Force Symphony and the odd Flare Star but even the fairest of them all gets his pretty face bitchslapped by the pimp!hand way too often.
Speaking of Golbez I'm trying to complete a GolbezxKefka true love crackfic to spam the comm with due to losing a bet... Wanna sneak peek?
BAHAHA!
Date: 2011-06-20 10:44 pm (UTC)Remember that part where Laguna joked about a treasure chest going "KABOOOOOM!"?
The red chests do that basically. XD
YOU LOST A BET?! I must know about this!
U-WEE-HEE-HEE!
Date: 2011-06-20 10:54 pm (UTC)Ah about the bet,
“Don’t look at me like that, sugartits. What was I supposed to do; wait patiently like some lovesick twat? I’m 36, I don’t have time to be faithful anymore!”
“I suppose it is in your nature.”
Despite Golbez’s posture softening, still the man looked tense. Kefka could tell there was still something that needed to be said. What half-baked-boy had come here to say that was so serious he was using his sexy ‘I’m a pragmatist’ tone.
“So you’re sure…?”
“Yes.”
“Really? I mean you could just be confused! This might just be a err---experimental stage you’re going through!”
“No, my heart is most certainly in the right place.”
“…It is?”
“Kefka, my apologies, but this is the way it has to be.”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
OHH YES THIS
Date: 2011-06-20 11:00 pm (UTC)non-anonymouslythat I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR KEFKA.I'd drag him home with me if I wasn't afraid he'd kill me and use my bones for soup stock.
Everyone loves the demon clown!
Date: 2011-06-20 11:10 pm (UTC)Now hun, you know that Kefka would bone YOU first before getting down to the messy business of butchery. Then he'd use your muscles as sausages and use them to play jump rope with. (Am still in the Kefka mindset so disturbing imagery is most disturbing)
I had originally considered making a few non-con jokes out of Kefka molesting (or doing worse) to some of his allies but I'm not sure how they will fly... What to you think:
Censored Version:
“It’s just not the same, I mean it’s all take, take, take with him! I have to literally pin him down whenever I want some snuggletime! Then he kicks, screams bloody murder and goes crying to dear old Emperor accusing me of sexual harassment!”
“What…?”
“It’s bullshit; he wanted it! You can tell---just look at what he’s wearing! He might as well have the words ‘Tap me!’ stitched on!”
Original Version:
“It’s just not the same, I mean it’s all take, take, take with him! I have to literally pin him down whenever I want some snuggletime! Then he kicks, screams bloody murder and goes crying to dear old Emperor throwing strong words like "RAPE!" around!”
“What…?”
“It’s bullshit; he wanted it! You can tell---just look at what he’s wearing! He might as well have the words ‘Tap me!’ stitched on!”
---------
Yeah...
See, I got no problems with it,
Date: 2011-06-20 11:29 pm (UTC)I can see either of these working just fine actually, depending on the overall mood you're going for. We all KNOW what Kefka means, but he's delightful when he's being facetious, too.
Now hun, you know that Kefka would bone YOU first before getting down to the messy business of butchery. Then he'd use your muscles as sausages and use them to play jump rope with.
BRB giggle-fitting forever.
It's a delicate subject
Date: 2011-06-20 11:45 pm (UTC)I also PM'ed the line to Schala to get advice on the rating but I haven't heard her response yet. The censored line works just fine but it doesn't have quite the bastardry of the original. But at least I know I shouldn't be burned alive on a crucifix and disembowled as my skin scorches for even thinking such a thing.
The Terra non-con is deliberately kept subtle because of Rape is Funny when it is Male on Male but no one is really safe from Kefka:
“Oh her. She’s a total bore. I ask her what she wants to do on a Friday night: she says nothing. I ask her what she thinks of my new headpiece: she says nothing. I ask her if it was good for her too: SHE SAYS NOTHING! I’m not a mind reader, ya frigid bitch, I need some input every once in a while!”
After an impatient snort to dismiss the frustration, Kefka looked at his boots and sighed. “It doesn’t even feel like a two person relationship…”
“But didn’t you imply there were others…?”
“Hmm? Oh you mean Kujie-coo?”
Kefka’s fingernails drummed against his chin for a moment before he shrugged.
“It’s just not the same, I mean it’s all take, take, take with him! I have to literally pin him down whenever I want some snuggletime! Then he kicks, screams bloody murder and goes crying to dear old Emperor accusing me of sexual harassment!”
“What…?”
“It’s bullshit; he wanted it! You can tell---just look at what he’s wearing! He might as well have the words ‘Tap me!’ stitched on!”
It was a good thing Kefka could not see the nauseous expression plastered on Golbez’s face.
“And as for those two soldier guys well…if you don’t want anyone to join in on your little sword comparison THEN YOU SHOULD INSTALL BETTER LOCKS ON YOUR DOOR!”
“Could we please cease this discussion?”
“Huh? Oh right, I guess it is a little insensitive of me to talk about the new beaus…”
“That isn’t what I meant and you know it.”
See that's the thing, we've got the Psycho Clown to do justice to here.
Date: 2011-06-20 11:56 pm (UTC)The one that STARTED the Politically Incorrect $hitstorm remained, though—since unlike the tree it spawned, it was tame.
Wait—what was my point?
Oh yeah—it's that there are people who don't know how to take a joke at all, and even take something as ludicrous as this far too seriously. So no matter what you do someone's probably going to take things out of context
never mind the fact that out of context can be hilariousand have a problem.Well, I say that it's their problem, and whichever way works best, go for it!
…though my sentiments lean toward uncensored, because of just how completely disgusted Golbez must be by all of this.
How would it be updated exactly?
Date: 2011-06-21 12:13 am (UTC)Now I just gotta wait for Schala's response about the rating and edit the beginning a bit...
FRICKEN FERAL CHAOS
Date: 2011-06-21 12:18 am (UTC)The other 'toys' huddled up in a corner looking terrified with sad!faces.
WHY YES I'VE OVERTHOUGHT THIS.
I copped out, I'm going with the censored version...
Date: 2011-06-21 12:24 am (UTC)Kuja in chains or various states of undress being molested in some way is completely cool though. (I'mma horrible person but he's the whipping boy in canon so it's only natural to see him in that role too easily!)
I knew I should've gone with the Mateus and his harem party! DX
*pats* Better safe, I reckon.
Date: 2011-06-21 12:27 am (UTC)That makes me want to attempt Time Attack level 100 with Mateus. Now that I think on it, he'd probably turn that overgrown imp into a chump…
Nothing wrong with reckon in my book
Date: 2011-06-21 12:33 am (UTC)Mat would probably kick Chaos off that throne with his 2 inch heels and claim the world as HIS to destroy. Then there would be a victory orgy. Okay maybe that's just in my version...
I have no objections to victory orgies.
Date: 2011-06-21 12:56 am (UTC)Afterwards, victory orgy.
After that, orgy just because.
And then tea because no one thought to bring cigarettes.
Tis done!
Date: 2011-06-21 01:21 am (UTC)Then after tea, chair sex. (Because they'd have to sit their asses down to drink it)
Re: Tis done!
Date: 2011-06-21 01:48 am (UTC)And where?
Re: Tis done!
Date: 2011-06-21 01:49 am (UTC)…derp.
Date: 2011-06-21 01:50 am (UTC)Re: …derp.
Date: 2011-06-21 01:52 am (UTC)Keyboard, why doth thou loath me!?
Do you know this?
Date: 2011-06-21 12:55 pm (UTC)tlb666Bowler is right about using RI4M to rip the movie + menu. Full DVD is the default with RI4M, but you have the movie + menu and movie only options. Titlewriter may be a favored program, but when using RI4M it is an unnecessary step as is editing with Shrink when you want move + menu or movie only.
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