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5 More Things!
Here it goes again! *narrowly resists linking to the OK Go song* Five Things today means the following:
- FFVI
- Dissidia
- Introduction to FF
- Pastry Arc: How the hell did that even come up?
- Seme or Uke?
FFVI
This was the first Final Fantasy game that went a long way in basically showing me that No, I am NOT epic, now get stuck in this dungeon when you’re low on healing items, K? Aside from the wicked learning curve it hit me with, VI showed me that not only could games be fun and have a storyline to go with them, it also showed me that the story of a game can be as engrossing and poignant as a good novel. I was a bit of a snob until FFVI—I didn’t think that a game could be so…rich and full.
There was also the fact that FFVI was my first experience with the epic beauty that is the music of Nobuo Uematsu. I remember restarting the one time to watch the opening to find out who the composer was—and then making the =< face when I realized that there was no way that I’d be able to find a record or a tape with a name like THAT on the cover—also the fact that one got funny looks in my area asking for CLASSICAL music, let alone classical music from a guy from JAPAN. ERMAHGERD.
I will admit it—it took me until the year before last to beat that game. (I didn’t get the concept of level grinding until I was about 14, when I first beat Phantasy Star IV—where if you DIDN’T level grind frequently, you would die. A LOT. VIOLENTLY. DAMN YOU SANDWORMS.) A combination of learning how to properly level grind (and about a decade since last playing it, on account of having to spend a bunch of time couch surfing because I kinda sorta didn’t have a place to stay at the time) helped me finally get to the end of it. Kicker? FINAL BLOW DELIVERED DURING THE CODA OF DANCING MAD’S FOURTH MOVEMENT.
Actually, speaking of Dancing Mad, I’ve got a whole thing that I could do on that one, but you’ll have to excuse me if I wait to go on that one. That’s…a LOT of topic.
Dissidia
Oh sweet Cosmos, where do I begin?
I first heard about Dissidia from one of my best friends who mentioned that you could play as Kuja in it. Her first FF was IX, and so this naturally got her attention. Then she mentioned that you could play as Sephiroth, and I literally went “keee!” when I heard that bit of news.
Then there was no news for a long time, as I was in that “hey I ain’t got a place to stay right now can I crash on your couch, please?” phase and so was out of the loop. I learned about the developments in the weirdest sort of way—a subtle nudge from my email on Google. Then my now-ex saw fit to surprise me.
MIGHT’VE CREATED A MONSTER THERE.
The first thing I noticed was the pretty. Then the fighting style—wide open maps (mostly), high-flying acrobatics, BIG FUCKING EXPLOSIONS, flashy finishers…
Then the pretty again…
Then the fighting again.
Then there was the storyline (which I’ll admit could be stronger), which I could go on and on about, but I think I’ll call for brevity here:
In a nutshell, the storyline of Dissidia is thus: The goddess of harmony, Cosmos, and the god of discord, Chaos, are locked in combat, and have summoned warriors to fight for their causes. The fight won’t end unless one of them wins…and this cycle has continued for quite some time. In fact this is the thirteenth iteration of this war.
There’s a bunch of talk in game about the ‘great will,’ and you never know what its motives are, since you’re just a bunch of pawns who have to do what you have to do to get things to work out well. Doing a hidden chain (Inward Chaos) reveals a chain of fights from every fighter, interspersed with information from a hidden speaker, whom you finally realize is Shinryu himself, who made a deal with someone who you find out is the Great Will…and then you realize: the Great Will who’s directed the conflict? Check out the ending. Sending the Warrior of Light on his way with the crystal he earned from Cosmos? You, buddy!
Of course this gets slightly retconned and expanded on in 012. You get thrown into cycle 024 or some funky-ass number like that, in which the fact that Cosmos broke a rule (directly intervening in the salvation of her remaining warriors) and then, inspired by Cosmos, THE GREAT WILL ITSELF breaks another rule
ANYWAY, the combination of that addition, the reports that flesh out a certain nice-helmeted individual’s backstory (and everyone else’s for that matter), and knowing what happened to Team Canon Fodder, Dissidia—and by extension, Duodecim—well, let’s just say I needed a lot of chocolate after some scenes. (“You can’t stay down! GET UP! —Nooooooooooo…” “No, Cosmos, STOP—ohshitshesgone” T_T)
I’ve watched that scene a lot of times, and now I’m approaching actually getting through again, and I’m probably going to react even more because NOW I’M ATTATCHED TO THESE BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS AND I’M GONNA WATCH THEM DO A SUICIDE MISSION.
*ahem.*
Introduction to Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy is a series o’ games that was—
*record scratches*
OK, I’m not gonna do that to you guys. Most of us here are rabid enough fans to know WHAT FF is. So we’ll skip ahead to how I got introduced to it.
I remember being really sick as a kid at one point, and so we had to go to the local pharmacy, the now-defunct Phar-Mor. (…yeah, the name’s kinda weird.) I wasn’t allowed to go much of anywhere or do much of anything because of how sick I was, so what my folks did was, they rented an SNES from Phar-Mor (yes, it was a pharmacy that also rented video game consoles). Then they had me pick my choice of games. I got two choices—Smartball and Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest. (I picked them on the cover art prettiness. …WHAT. I WAS FIVE.) Then the clerk gives me a look, looks at my parents and goes, “You know, that game has a LOT of reading in it…”
My parents exchange a glance and then laugh. “Yeah, that’s not going to be a problem,” they say as my prescriptions are filled.
Then I land at home with my soup and crap ton of medicines and my freshly rented SNES and begin playing Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest.
…I finished it in three days. Then I restarted and did it again. I remember thinking to myself, the music’s so pretty! It’s like the stuff I hear on Classic 99.1! And it has a story in it! And the people TALK! It’s not just punching!~
That was when my folks decided that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get me an SNES—that, and we re-rented that machine from Phar-Mor several more times because that game was, like, THE thing I wanted to do, and it’d be cheaper to buy me an SNES than renting it a week at a time every time.
That year I also got a Game Boy—and Zelda, and Final Fantasy Legends II and III. Later that year, my mother showed me Labyrinth, which got me into sexy androgynous men—and therefore, basically EVERY FINAL FANTASY HERO/HEROINE EVER.
So I can blame my parents for getting me into Final Fantasy. My father can blame ME for getting HIM into it. His new wife can ALSO blame me for getting her into it.
(I showed her Sephiroth. The rest is history. XD)
OMGWTF PASTRIES.
“I was looking out back to find you a cheap hooker, and—lo and behold! I found you a PASTRY CHEF!”
I can’t remember what fic I heard that line in to save my life. I do remember it was one of my first exposures to slashfic, involving Gundam characters and a sassy pastry store owner. I can’t remember anything else about it—not pairing, not plot, not even what website it was written on. I only remember the phrase, the fact that it made me laugh like an idiot, and the fact that the phrase stayed in my head for what has to be at least five years now.
I was looking for an idea of something to write one day when my now-ex decided to troll me during a match by suggesting that I slash Kuja and Jecht. (I’ll bitch and complain about what he’s done as much as I can until I’m fixed in the head, but damn if he didn’t sometimes accidentally start some brilliant ideas up) I remember responding with a o.O and then thinking, “…wait, that could work…” Once my brain decided to cast Bartz as the one using that quote above, the rest was history. Suddenly, Pastry Arc was born!
Seme or Uke?
One of my favorite pairings involves Vincent Valentine and Cid Highwind. Rule of Yaoi suggests that Vincent be seme based on age, height, and hair color.
Matter of fact, let me back up. Valenwind was actually my first pairing. I’ve already explained how I was introduced to yaoi itself, so I’ll not rehash it here. This was where I learned the Rule of Yaoi—Height Rule, Hair Color Rule, Age Rule. But everything that I saw of the pairing played fast and loose with this rule—Vinnie wins on ALL of these rules—and more often than not there was a lot of switching, weird kinks, unexpected situations… and you know, Cid Highwind makes a DAMN AGGRESSIVE POWER UKE. (Which is hot.)
I like power ukes. They know what they want, how they want it, when they want it, and if something unexpected comes up, they’re like “OK, cool beans!” I can’t remember where I saw the fics, but my two favorite fics involve materia play (“Elemental and Ice. And you’d best pray that no one walks in.” And then Vincent proceeds to give Cid the iciest blow he’s every had. And then CID SUGGESTS TRYING IT AGAIN WITH WIND ELEMENTAL MATERIA) and just plain “RIGHT FUCKING NOW DAMMIT” on a kitchen table, using canola oil for lube (“Better’n Crisco,” Cid comments once Vinnie’s managed to lop the top off using his claw). The kitchen table decides it’s done with life once they’re done screwing each other into submission and breaks underneath them both—all the legs kind of just go SPLAT and give out.
Sure, there’s lots to be said for an aggressive seme who takes what he wants and doesn’t care what it does to the uke, but owing to my first pairing, power ukes have the win here.
…I think.
I’m also fond of the attentive, caring seme, who thinks the world of his uke (even when he can be a derp sometimes about things but it winds up being cute because hey, dork!seme <3) and doesn’t want anything more than to bring the uke pleasure…or convince him that there’s nothing wrong with this…this situation (as we’ve noticed that scared ukes tend to dance around both the L-words—love and lust). You know the kind, the one that whispers sweet reassurances to the uke before taking him, oh-so-gently—perhaps getting a bit carried away as he reaches his limit, putting a bit of a strain on the uke until—ah, there it goes, he’s got the position right there, that’s just perfect—and he stops wondering if he’s doing the right thing and starts basically giving direction (“Harder! Higher! Slower! More wombat!”) until both of them are spent and we get the obligatory scene when they’re curled up asleep in weirdly uncomfortable-looking positions but with those faint, happy smiles…
I freakin’ love yaoi. <3