Trough.

[railenthe]

It's the second day of what I think is a trough of a bipolar episode.

I've got a severe shortage of fucks to give, energy and enthusiasm for anything. I thought it was caffeine withdrawal at first, but I'm properly dosed today and nothing doing.

I'm having a hell of a time getting any writing done. My motivation has been gone since my last medication adjustment. Worse in the last few days. Previously, I could muscle through. Now? Nah, fam.

Running into people is actually hell. I tune out and hide under a virtual rock. I sleep too much or not enough. Both result in not enough rest.

It's a good thing I can sleep through so much caffeine.

Comments

[kuro_pantsu]

Bodies have that delightfully horrible way of playing mad scientist on you by mixing the most obscene chemical concoctions that will supremely fuck you over. And not only that but they will be NINJA mad scientists so you can't even pin them down and catch the bastards in the act until it's too late.

I have no clue what they changed to your meds but sounds like it went and crushed your dopamine production bigtime D: Chemically induced depression is the worst because you don't just mentally feel the pits but you physically feel as though your body changed from heater to fridge so there's this sickly chill and the sensation of poison pumping through your blood. When I get that my mind just NOPES out of most social interaction because it processes the message but the transmitter is so screwed that I'm incapable of response.

I sorely hope it burns off ASAP because when that state affects creativity... well I am guessing that is exactly what impotence feels like. And that is a feeling that can fuck off. :/

Fingers crossed for you. (I esp hope it doesn't interfere with your writing during November if you're planning on trying Naniwrimo again?)

[kuro_pantsu]

NANOWRIMO - gawd, I can't even spell these days!

I need a kickstarter for a new brain