railenthe | DDFF Meme: Day 14: Worst Character Alteration.

…actually, I had to stop and think about this one for a while. Because I am largely “OH HAI LETS BRAWL NOW!” my first couple of playthroughs resulted in me paying very little attention to character development. Add that to the fact that there are Final Fantasy titles that I haven’t played to completion, and I had to scour my brain for the answer to this one.

For those looking to troll/bribe me into GETTING ON WITH IT, those titles are III, IV, V, VIII, IX, and XIII. Most of this is due to me not having the respective system (everything past VIII for a very long time, as well as III) or the patience for terribad translations (I’m looking at you, original translation of IV). I have played IV and V to near-completion (Only thing stalling me on V is the fact that I currently do not have custody of the PS2.)

Now, onto the answer to my question, Please note my small inventory of games to choose from in which characters have suffered severe derailment when you read my answer, and please, don’t kill me.

I would have to say that the prize for this particular award goes to…

Terra!

“Now hold up, wait a minute,” you might be saying. “She was massively derailed last game!”

Yes. Last game.

…got déjà vu yet? I wouldn’t be surprised. After all, the lead-in to this entry is a clone of the last one.

And it would still be absolutely true if it weren’t for the fact that her character hadn’t been effectively rerailed thanks to the events of 012 and how its events alter the course of several text-based cutscenes in 013.

BUT!

There’s still a small issue that, no matter how much I logic it away, bothers me about her setup to this day: her gear list.

I know in the translation of her playstyle, it make perfect sense—she’s a black mage for all practical intents and purposes, and so her gear should revolve around this accordingly.

Except that in FFVI it doesn’t.

In FFVI, Terra’s gear is swords, some greatswords, some daggers, heavy armor, female!gear (dresses much?), helms, hairpins/other caster headgear, light armor, and shields. If you showed her a robe or a rod, she’d probably pull the RAGEFACE and ask “Um, excuse me?” and point her greatsword at you and offer a demonstration about how she can cut dreamhares into little sashimi-sized bites with it. Then she’d roast those little sashimi-sized bites with Firaga and offer you a snack.

As far as physical and magical balance went in FFVI, Terra’s stats begin sliding into Disc 1 Nuke/Gamebreaker range pretty early on. Once you get certain Espers, you can slide her firmly into total-gamebreaker stat range—

Plus, she’s got Trance…which if you hold it enough fights can last for a very long time…and it doubles ALL of her stats except for base speed…You build her right, with the right sword, armor, accessories and stat slanting, and she can solo KEFKA. KEFKA! With melee strikes! KEFKA!!!

…then DDFF starts and she uses rods. Staves. Robes. Gone is her armor proficiency, and she has one solitary physical attack—her sword in chase sequences.

WHAT?

I understand it’s for the sake of her gameplay style, but. What. The. Hell.

Now, her style has since grown on me—I do love the black mages of the world—but the fact that the game has taken her from being a Mystic Knight to a straight-up Black Mage really ground my gears for a long time. What can I say? I don't like it when they mess too much with the classics. It BUGGED ME *rage*

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Well we gotta remember, this is the same Terra who confused/weirded out a good chunk of the party asking the question "What is love?"

Celes had a "? The hell kinda question is that?" sort of reaction, other party members weren't sure how to answer—it takes General Leo and SHADOW of all people to get her an answer.

Now, she never quite gets an answer on how to deal with this sort of thing…so she's kinda shooting in the dark.

Well for the sake of making it compatible with Dissidia I'm using the I-can-get-along-just-fine-with-people side of Terra because otherwise the whole thing would be a mess. Empathy issues would be an interesting thing to write but not today.

And I wrote her as very innocent during that sneaky peek scene. Poor thing was probably never given a sex-ed lesson. And as tempting as the idea of an equally confused Kuja trying to figure out WTF they're doing during their first time is, I don't think it has a place here... but I'll save it for the crack pile! Ehe! (What? In several of my fanons he's a virgin before being summoned to Dissidia. With Mateus being the flower picker of choice)

Terra does have that whole "How can you not get along with her?" vibe going on in Dissidia, doesn't she?

…you just gave me an idea. *dash*

…that just gave me an idea, one which I am not entirely certain how I'd even start.

If one of these ideas is virgin!Kuja then remember: TAIL SHAME. (Which is why I believe he's abstained from hookers and social affairs. He may be hot enough that all of Treno would want him but there's no way he'd risk indecent appendage exposure)

And why is it this is the second Dissidia!sex ed idea I've spurred? (That sadly never came to fruition on the kink meme)

*scribbles that down*

Well I was offline for about two months thanks to Charter Internet (they suck!) so there's a lot that I don't know about on the kink meme. If I'd known about this I probably would have taken a shot.

Well I'm already taking on something like this with Kujerra's fic so I probably won't try to handle this Behemoth but I shall include the obvious line I'd go with if I wanted to indulge crack:

“So do all men have them…?”
“NO!”

You can probably guess who the victim was. >D

The original idea had Laguna trying to teach the class and failing. HARD. I'll try and find you the prompt. *forages*

FOUND IT!

DDFF Meme: Day 14: Worst Character Alteration.

Re: Squ-yee!

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MY HEAD!CANON APPROVES OF THIS.

MWAHAHAAHAHA!!!

Kolkolkolkol....

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