Random Chaos

Kuja's the Team Chaos whipping boy (and Mateus' occasional hot-water bottle substitute), if Ultimecia wants someone to go in and take a hit for her then send it's his job as an eidolon-proof chew toy. She wouldn't want to risk endangering her beloved Mateus's fabulous nails breaking now, would she?

Fwahahahaha! I make Kuja assist Prishe, Kain, Ulty, Tidus and CoD because it's what Ultimania says works best for 'em. The politics don't enter into it. For Jecht, Cloud, Terra and Kefka though it's a different matter entirely. (I ship Kefja mostly out of crack but also cause I'm 90% sure Kefka wanted to pull that tail. One sided of course. Although in 013 my head crack canon assumes that Kefka tried to dupe Kujie-coo into thinking that Kefka was his boyfriend. They broke up after the crystal incident)

Yep. So simple even a monkeboy can do it!