FFIX, Disc 2 Impressions.

[railenthe]

First, a letter to the internet.

 

Dear Internet:

QUIT DERPING!

Signed, Railenthe Y. Zeal.

 

*Previously, on FFIX DISC 1:

 

Oh look.  It’s Beatrix, come to kick our asses.

 

…!!!  Oh, hello there, he of the heavily emphasized crotch!  Why, you could almost rival David Bowie Himself with that highlit heaven-rod!

---

 

Toffee told me not to get too attached to any towns.

 

I like Cleyra.  Really like Cleyra.  It’s a city built into a tree, hidden by a sacred—

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOM*

 

I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST TAKE OUT CLEYRA, YOU ELEPHANTINE BLUE BITCH!

 

 

---

Oh look.  It’s Beatrix, come to kick our asses.

 

 

*later*

 

Oh look, It’s Beatrix, come to kick our asses again.

 

*later, as we go off to save Dagger*

 

OH HAI BEATRIX.  HAVE A GO AT MY CUSHY BADONKADONK.  HERE I’LL EVEN BEND OVER.

 

*later*

 

OH HAI BEATRIX—eh?  You’re on our side?  I’LL TAKE IT.

 

*later*

 

I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST NUKE LINDBLUM, YOU CERULEAN WHORE!

 

 

---

*Three hours later*

 

 

I’ve been stuck inside Fossil Roo so long that…if you can believe this…I’ve gone from thinking the gargants are creepy to thinking they’re cute.

 

*Two hours later*

 

Yep.  I’ve found Kuppo, but still lost.  *holds up a flower*  Here, Gargie!  C’mere!  Good boy!  *feeds, hops on, and rides around the area again*

 

…I seriously hope I can go back here sometime.  I missed a chest and besides, between the music and the gargants, I love this place.

Comments

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

How did you respond to Brahne when she asked if you bought her "They were being stinky meaniepants!" defense?

Oh he-of-the-heavily-emphasised-crotch will start to up the bastardry as the game progresses. Though the bad touch scene is one of my favourites but by disc 2...HOO BOY! I'LL NEVER MAKE FUN OF HIS UNDERWEAR CHOICES OR HIS DELICATE APPEARENCE AGAIN!!!

See, I had trouble sympathising with Cleyra's demise because...well...VIVI DISCRIMINATION! YOU BASTARDS, YOU TREATED HIM LIKE CRAP AND YOU HAVE EARNED THE BELLOWING RAGE FROM THE VERY DEPTHS OF MY SOUL!

Though I still feel a little sorry for them all the same given that we see the CATHEDRAL THEY'RE HIDING IN GET BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES.

Ah Fossil Roo. You gotta flip the bird switches the right way. You're near Kuppo so you're close to the final one. Remember that place with the vines and stone faces near the pond that you passed by to reach him? Go back there, climb to the left and you will find switch 3. Press it and get the Gargant on the bottom right path. It will take you to the exit.

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

Bartz would've been more than up for it. Squall's jaw would've dropped and then he'd be subjected to both of them trying to convince him to 'let himself go'.

...Really, why couldn't they have had this in Dissidia? Such a beautiful moment of insanity could've been had.