Reclamation.

Two years ago, I had a friendship end in a damn ugly way. It ended with what could best be described as a bang.

About a month ago was when I realized that it had taken my tarot practice with it. The way things had gone with that friendship, something in my brain had started associating it with her rather than with the memories of my past, memories of friends, or even memories of hustling up some food money by slinging readings in the old neighborhood. And that pissed me off, to put it lightly.

I came into the new year without a resolution to speak of, but this inspired one: to take back the things that other peoples’ memories had started to color.

I began that this morning, easing into things with a digital reading rather than grabbing an actual deck of cards, and the card’s affirmation was one of gratitude. It made me think about all the things that I’d ‘lost,’ the things that had once given me joy and that I’d quietly abandoned without really thinking about it. My tarot practice, writing, even cooking, all of them had started to fade. And, I realized, my life was so much poorer without these things.

My resolution for the year (probably the first of a few) is to take back the things that I used to love.

I mentioned this resolution to my therapist today, and she touched on the subject of gratitude for things that one loves, and I got to hit her with the ‘funny story!’ and the revelation that my reading had told me some of the same things that she was telling me today.

I mean…if your therapist and your tarot deck tell you the same thing, on the same day no less, then it’s probably good advice.

Tonight, the plan is to spend a quiet night in (no cooking, though, sciatica is kinda stopping me from doing much cooking lately), alternating between gaming, cuddling Momo, and working on the tarot spreads section of my BoS.

It’s time.

LiveJournal Tags: ramble,getting my own mind back,my so-called life,spiritual stuff,mental stuff