BUGGER BOTHER HELL CRAP DAMN IT FUCKING @#$%^!!!

[railenthe]

 My phone's died.

No response from hardware, software, synch cable, charger—nothing.

IF THE INTERNET GOES OUT I AM CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE.

Now if you'll excuse me, this warrants the only rage-cure I know works for certain: A Gabranth speed-run.
Screw sleep.  I got rage.

EDIT:  9-July, 6:08 AM CDT:
I woke up stupidly early to catch a deal on a replacement phone.  My savings are now toast, as are the cosplay ambitions for Natsucon next month.  But I will have a telephone again in two weeks.

Yes, two weeks.

Now, how the hell am I supposed to get ahold of my family to let them know that I haven't disappeared, or been struck by lightning or some other crap?  They're part of the 0.01%* that aren't on Facebook or Myspace.

…can't worry about that now.  Gotta go to work.

*Why yes, this is a totally bullshit statistic!  Thanks for noticing!

Comments

To cheer you up... An education in life (1/2)

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

It was natural to expect tongues to wag at the development. But it was quite another thing when it was the orphans’ tongues it came from…

“Hey, Mama’s getting bigger again!”
“She must have another baby inside her.”
“But she’s already got one, why have another?”
“Duane said she and Papa couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Maybe they kept holding hands and wishing really hard for a boy and it came true?”
“So if you hold my hand…I’ll have a baby inside me!? ICKKKK!!!”

At this point Katerin decided it was time to intervene, before some silly children began thinking it was fun to grab hold of each other’s hands in the hopes of ‘making babies’. “Alright, calm down you lot. Nobody’s going to get any babies inside them like that.” She grumbled, pulling the shrieking girl and boy waving his hands threateningly at her apart. “So how did it get there then?”

She almost lost her footing there.

“Like I’m going to give you tips.” Her face was now a particularly violent shade of pink, almost glowing in the afternoon light. It was bad enough having to put up with those two occasionally flying off somewhere to trance, leaving her and Duane to put up with 30 or so children on their own, but enduring hundreds of innocent questions about what they got up to was where she drew the line.

Speak of the devil, ‘Papa’ had entered the scene. And he’d brought an example of his earlier work with him…

“There now, my darling. Bathe in the golden light of summer’s glory. Let its rays shine upon---”
“Papa, how did the baby get in Mama?”
“…Beg pardon?”

Kuja blinked and instantly shot one of those ‘Explain!’ faces towards Katerin. Coupled with the harried jiggling of the oblivious waif in his arms, this was quite the amusing sight. “They’ve noticed your handiwork.” She folded her arms. “I’m leaving it to you two to answer their questions.”

“Wait, what?” Too late, she’d already left.
“Papa, does holding hands make a baby?”
“What are you on about? Of course not! Where did such a ridiculous notion come from?” Kuja rocked the baby again before she latched onto his hair. (He had since considered tying it up in a ribbon to avoid such gross manhandling of his delicate tresses but so far he’d yet to find one that complimented his wardrobe)
“So how did it get there then?”
“By magic. How do you think?”
“REALLY!?”
“NO! Oh goodness, I’m going to have to explain it to you, aren’t I?”