BLARGHY. *pocket-sized rant*
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
railenthe*sets down purse*
WAUGH WHY AM I OUT OF CREAM?
Easy enough day at work: we all got done nice and fast. Only problem is that it is, in fact, 102°F outside. So regardless of the ease of the workday, the heat has rendered me mushy and useless. A cup of tea and a nap will fix that. Then I get to clean.
Which means I get to buy a new broom—the current broom is sort of, what’s the word? IN SEVERAL PIECES—and cleaning solutions, and scrub brushes, and trash bags, and cleaning implements…the impending “Uniform Condition” inspection has me a little nervous. I’ve accumulated an impressive amount of CRAP since last year and then there’s the fact that I’ve just been lazy about some things lately. The cleaning won’t be to my satisfaction until about Friday, and that’s if I spend two hours a day working on it until then.
It also means that there will not be time to cook Fancy Things™ this week. Unfortunate!
Oh well. I’d best SIT MY ASS DOWN IN THIS CHAIR AND DRINK MY GODDAMN TEA so I can have my nap. I have to be ready to throw down on this floor.
…and the dishes…
…and the walls…
…and the stove…
Why did I decide to get my own place again?
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no subject
Date: 2011-08-02 08:32 pm (UTC)Does that mean we won't get to speak much this week? That's too bad... D:
I'll offer you the Kefka confronting Kuja about Kujerra script I did for the RP to try and help cheer you up:
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(NOTE: This involves me experimenting a bit. Kuja's more like his Disc 2 FFIX self here whilst Kefka is...well I tried something a little different with him here)
Kefka: So…a little old witch told me something very interesting…
Kuja: That she’ll finally cast a spell that will erase your loathsome presence from my sight?
Kefka: She said something about a little bird. A little bird that belongs to me…
Kuja: Oh you mean that girl you keep on failing to capture? Terra, wasn’t it?
Kefka: You should know…YOU’RE THE ONE SLOBBERING OVER HER!
Kuja: What are you on about?
Kefka: DON’T LIE TO ME! I know all about your little attempts to get into those panties of hers! I know all about how those Cosmos whelps are cheerleading your sappy little romance like some overrated sports game and quite frankly, IT MAKES ME SICK!
Kuja: I’m sorry, could it be that this bothers you?
Kefka: Oh no, no, no, no, no…why should it bother me? I mean it’s not like Terra is MINE or anything!
Kefka: You want to bang her? Fine, do that. Enjoy it - be my guest. Or are you too noble to do that? Hmm? Not man enough to stick something where it doesn’t belong and watch her cry out in pain AS THE BLOOD LEAKS OUT OF HER-
Kuja: -Spare me the gruesome image.
Kefka: What’s that!? Does that mean you don’t wanna make a whore out of her!? Oh Kujie-coo, have you gone soft in the head? Could it be that you actually care about her?
Kuja: Care? *laughs*
Kuja: You seem to think that I’m…? Oh Kefka, I never knew you were such a romantic.
Kefka: Hah?
Kuja: Kefka, the only thing your little puppet means to me is causing you fury that not even the god of discord himself could help to rival. She is, as you so would so delicately put it ‘something to screw with’. Nothing more.
Kefka: Why you-
Kuja: Strike me for all I care; it’ll just cause her to come running to me all the more quickly. What girl can resist the tragic coup de grace of a wounded paramour fresh from the jaws of hell? Why I all I need do is whisper sweet nothings and she will fly straight into my arms.
Kuja: Does she do that so willingly for you, Kefka?
Kefka: Grrr…that’s big talk coming from a little runt.
Kuja: Oh is that a challenge then? Dear me, well that shouldn’t be too hard. I have been looking forward to hearing the symphony of her wanton moans. Sadly, that’s a performance you’ll never be privy too.
Kuja: Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to give you an in-depth critique of ‘the maiden’s swansong’. Every thrust…every shudder…every moment she begs for more.
Kefka: *opens mouth* -
Kuja: -So that whenever you look at her, whenever you think of her, you will never be able to dispel the image of her becoming mine. I want you to remember that. And how she did it all of her own accord.
Kefka: STOP IT! STOP IT!!! SHUT IT YA LITTLE SLIME!
Kuja: Why Kefka…? Didn’t you say I should go ahead? Could it be you’re not comfortable with this after all?
Kefka: YOU DARE LAY THE BINT AND I’LL-
Kuja: -Did I hit a nerve?
Kefka: I’LL HIT YOU!
Kuja: Well then…it seems I’d better get straight to it.
Kuja: But don’t worry…I’ll try to be gentle. *poisonous smirk*
Kefka: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHH! *teleports off in fury*
Jecht: *trundles out from behind a pillar having witnessed the whole thing* You are either a damn good actor or a dead man.
Kuja: Hmph, I’ll leave you to decide which one. *flairs hair and flies off*
WOOOOOOOOOW!
Date: 2011-08-02 11:14 pm (UTC)That was awesome!
I mean, yikes! I absolutely adore the mindscrew here! And this take on Kefka! It's as if he's still ALMOST there, but he's ever so slowly beginning to completely unhinge—and why do I get the feeling that it's even worse this time around?
And Kuja's such a Magnificent Bastard there! To think that he's just screwing with Kefka's head now!
AND JECHT! I wanna keep him can I can I can I?
*deep bow*
Date: 2011-08-02 11:22 pm (UTC)This is why you need to play FFIX. Dissidia!Kuja never truly gets to be a magnificent bastard (you get a slight hint of it here and there in report 01) but in FFIX he could've rivaled Mateus. True he's emotionally weaker than his 'allies' but he's a very smart guy who knows how to play people. And even though this is reformed Kuja I knew he'd never forgive Kefka for what he did to him in report 01 so he'd bring back some of the poisonous bastardry he used to do to teach that clown a lesson.
Of course you can. What are your plans for him in the RP anyway?
THIS IS WHY IT NEEDS TO COOL OFF ENOUGH FOR ME TO WALK TO GAMESTOP!
Date: 2011-08-02 11:32 pm (UTC)The only thing stopping me right now. It's so darn hot that if I were to try to run this before the Excessive Heat Warning is dismissed, I'd need to call help. I'd rather not have to be carried back because of heat exhaustion. Again.
And alas, I don't know what the plans are! He's been sadly shunted off to the side for the majority of the time. Which is bad because I firmly believe that Everything Needs More Jecht.
That sucks.
Date: 2011-08-02 11:38 pm (UTC)When you eventually get access to FFIX!Kuja you will understand exactly why I keep on squawking about how much of a magnificent bastard he was. Even when he's being obviously evil he manages to play people.
All I see so far is that Jecht is Kuja's wingman. Or decides to be because he's bored.
PFFT WINGMAN!
Date: 2011-08-02 11:43 pm (UTC)I'm liking the idea of him as wingman WAY too much right now. I mean, it works so well: you know he had to be a super draw for the ladies, and I seriously doubt that having a kid would make him stop with the flirting.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-02 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-02 11:53 pm (UTC)The thought of him setting up Golbez is fairly amusing, though—I mean, who's even his type?
And d'aww. EVEN REAL MEN NEED LOVE!
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:10 am (UTC)Jecht: *circles Gilgamesh, occasionally going "Hmm" or "Uh-huh," and nodding* Ya know, there could be a benefit to this situation here.
Gilgamesh: *All arms crossed* Huh?
Jecht: You know how to use all them hands, right?
~~~
With Gabranth he'd have his work cut out for him. Then again broody blondes tend to be teh popularz. Too bad I see him as being very "DO NOT WANT" when it comes to being fixed up.
Never mind the mental image I just had of him carrying Prishe on his shoulders while she holds one of his swords in a "CHARGE!" gestureGolbez and Cosmos, eh? Now that I think about it they DO kind of slant that at us, don't they?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:21 am (UTC)Mmm hmm. And somehow I can see it working...
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:27 am (UTC)…am I wrong in thinking that someone needs to call him out on that?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:37 am (UTC)The reason I nominate Kujerra for being his main ship is
because I'm biasedbecause I can imagine Jecht developing a soft spot for Terra, similar to how he's very protective of Yuna.I have no clue what his reaction to Tidus/CoD/Exdeath would be.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:44 am (UTC)Golmos:
Jecht: "Hey, sacrilege can be fun!"
Tidus/CoD/Exdeath?
Jecht: I'm gonna aVOID that one altogether. Snakes and trees are a little much for me.
Gabrishe?
Jecht: One's all class, one's no class! They're perfect for each other!
Gabranth: The hell, you say!
Prishe: The hell?!
Jecht: See?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 12:57 am (UTC)Golmos doesn't get quite as much teasing but Jecht has to give Golbez a push to make his move all the same. He knows that Golbez thinks too much about how he's not good enough for the light but dammit, he's gotta stop being such a stiff!
LATE REPLY IS LATE BECAUSE OF ERRANDS THAT FAILED ANYWAY
Date: 2011-08-03 01:57 am (UTC)Especially since I've decided to go down the "LOL KUJA'S TOTALLY A VIRGIN" routeGolbez would need all the pushing he could get.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 02:13 am (UTC)Kuja was definetly a virgin before Dissidia in my head canon.By all means be my guest! :DJecht's got his work cut out trying to pair all these guys up!
Jecht: Go on, whatsa matter? Compliment her!
Golbez: What use would shallow praise be in assuring her of the sincercerity of my affections?
Jecht: Aaargh, don't say it like that! Women like being told they've got nice qualities. Makes 'em feel appreciated.
Golbez: I...cannot do this. *exits*
Jecht: Hey come back here!
(Jecht growls in annoyance as he realises that Golbez is not coming back)
Jecht: Tch, you're missing out on something great, ya know? Idiot...
(He spies Kuja nearby, writing a letter)
Jecht: Hmm? Hey loverboy, how'd it go last night!?
Kuja: *ends up scrawling his quill down the page in horror*
Kuja: ...None of your business.
Jecht: That good, huh?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 03:06 am (UTC)GO JECHT!
Strict ain't quite it…
Date: 2011-08-02 11:19 pm (UTC)In fact, I make about $1 over minimum wage.
My apartment is a low-income asbestos trap (at least I assume it might be an asbestos trap, seeing as no reports have been given confirming the removal of the stuff). In exchange for a rock-bottom monthly rate, they check everyone's housekeeping once a month—basically, checking to see if you're neat, making sure there's no bugs or rats…
I've fallen slightly behind. Between my improving but still gimp knee and a broom that's in an interesting number of pieces, it's hard to keep things straight. So this week, I get to make it look almost like no one lives here, it'll be so clean.
MAYBE THEN THEY'LL FIX MY DAMN BATHTUB WALL. I'VE BEEN REPORTING THE WALL'S HAD GIVE SINCE FEBRUARY AND NOTHING'S BEEN DONE.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-03 07:43 pm (UTC)So fluffy is it that I'm kind of embarassed to put it here.
And yet ironically they do not turn fluffy themselves during it.
Let me know if you're interested. :3
*Mognet mail!*
Date: 2011-08-03 09:25 pm (UTC)Kujerra fluff is always relevant to my interests. No exceptions.
Glad she's no longer outta cream,
Rai
Another reason to play FFIX: Mognet is a sidequest
Date: 2011-08-03 09:40 pm (UTC)Dear Rai,
I went overboard. And I want to continue going overboard. This ship is most difficult to keep on top of!
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This is set with Kuja and Terra hiding up on their turret at the Crystal Tower in the middle of a tryst. I personally see the scene as clothes optional (untranced) as I imagine this being an ‘afterglow’ conversation but you’re free to have your own interpretation.
(Kuja spots what looks like the figures of Jecht and Shantotto arguing down below)
Kuja: “Ugh. Them again.”
Kuja: “I swear- if there’s one thing that makes me eager to escape this wretched war it’s these insufferable busybodies. I’ve had it up to here with that obnoxious midget and that brazen oaf attempting to cast themselves roles in our romance.”
Terra: “They mean well really.”
Kuja: “Oh? Is that what you call that supercilious mage’s meddling with your contraceptives? Well meaning?”
Terra: “I don’t really want to take them, truth be told…”
Terra: “Actually…as soon as this war is over I…”
(She bites her lip and takes a deep breath)
Terra: “…I want to start a family. The both of us- together!”
(She bows her head)
Terra: “I know it’s a lot to ask and I understand if you don’t want to but…I’m sorry- I just can’t go pretending it’s something I don’t want because I do! So much!”
(She looks away from him, unable to meet his gaze)
Terra: “Even if you don’t want to…I still…” *she loses her voice*
(Kuja places his hand under her chin to guide her gaze upward at him)
Kuja: “Exhausted from flying, the little bird wishes to rest her weary wings and build herself a nest?”
Terra: “…Yes.”
Kuja: “She does not care if it’s a den of sin her eggs hatch from? Or do the golden bonds of matrimony constrict her tender flock?”
(Terra looks at him in confusion)
Kuja: “Do the bells of nuptials not ring sweetly in your ears or are you content cast as only a mistress? Such a role does not suit one as lovely as you.”
Terra: “Um…could you speak normally please?”
Kuja: *sighs and drops the theatrical tone* “Marriage. Do you want it or not?”
(Terra’s eyes light up)
Terra: *gasps* “You really mean it?”
Kuja: “Would I be wasting my breath otherwise?”
(Terra glomps him causing them to lean very close to the edge)
Terra: “I do!”
Kuja: “Careful!”
(Terra notices and lets go so that they can pull back)
Terra: “Sorry.” *she giggles nervously*
Kuja: “Come the end of this tiresome war I shall spirit you away from this world. With the sky as our ocean and the moon our guide, we shall sail to our own utopia in the clouds, free of gilded cages.”
Terra: *she holds his hand* “And then we’ll build a life together.” *she smiles and looks over at the view of the landscape*
Terra: “…”
Terra: “Then, we must do everything we can to end this war as quickly as possible.”
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Toffee
*kicks slow-ass scan. ALSO THIS MERITS A SQUEE ICON*
Date: 2011-08-03 10:06 pm (UTC)Just as soon as my scan finishes and I find out if something's nomming on the interweb wires, I'm jumping on because apparently I am missing SERIOUS AWESOME.
I always thought that Kuja's proposal would be flowery and flashy. I think my voice went up to dog-whistle squee level here.
Oh HAI, Squee!Luneth!
Date: 2011-08-03 10:12 pm (UTC)The way I see it, Kuja thinks that his pretentious 'acting' persona is more appealing than his true self (because of course of the whole identity issues he has going on) so in his mind's eye reciting flowery lines at Terra is the way to go when really, she prefers it when he's sincere. I didn't want her to accept the flowery proposal (and I like to think she was playing dumb) because I wanted her to agree to marry true!Kuja and not mask!Kuja as it were.
Re: Oh HAI, Squee!Luneth!
Date: 2011-08-03 10:22 pm (UTC)TRANSCRIPT OF THE PLOT MECHANIC DP AND I CAME UP WITH FOR THE RP
Date: 2011-08-03 09:50 pm (UTC)DP: I was thinking he'd place a geas on Lightning, a special command that would force her to turn into Ragnarok once she was in Sanctuary
T: So he wouldn't know that Ragnarok!Lightning was too weak to defeat Cosmos then?
DP: Cosmos did the crystal trick again here (admittedly they'll be used for a different purpose) so one would think that would mean she'd be easy to kill...It fails because while they do have separate bodies, her other aspects are free, making her stronger.
T: Sort of like the Harry Potter horcruxes then in that they keep her alive even if her main body is attacked?
DP: yeah except no soul splitting is involved
T: Yah. And I'm guessing because of the bond shared with her warriors by giving them her light, she too is capable of receiving strength from them - sort of as a two way street power distrubition?
DP: You know I never thought of that before but it could work!
T: We'll have to mention it to Rai then!
T: That could be the great big thorn in Barty's plan.
T: And only sneaky Cosmos would be in the know.
T: Though methinks Sieg, Light, Kain and a few others would catch on.
DP: we'll see how everything goes if somehow they do catch on
T: Certainly no one would really know until Ragnarok!Lightning faced Cosmos.
T: Though I'm wondering... what would happen if Cosmos were to endow a Chaos warrior such as Jecht or Golbez with her light?
DP: super powerup plus two new warriors for her side?
T: Hmm... Well Mat was able to make a dark crystal by corrupting Jecht to Chaos's side but I'm guessing the same would not happen in this case due to the Chaos alingment already being established. But certainly it could have some effect. Maybe in order to break through to Shinryu an alternate method is to get a balance effect by having Chaos warriors accept Cosmos' light? And since there are several former Chaos warriors now containing Cosmos' light (Terra, Cloud and Tidus) it could be that they count as part of this 'balance' as well?
DP: I see many in the Chaos side objecting to working together with their Cosmos counterparts
DP: Also, you might wanna count Leon in with those three. It was in a past cycle but at one point he was a warrior of Cosmos
T: Of course. Golbez would be the first, then Jecht - those two I see agreeing to accepting Cosmos' light easily. (Though Jecht was already a Cosmos warrior and it's kind of implied that Golbez was too once) Gil probably does as well. Leon, Gabranth and Kuja are probably the ones unwilling to accept it for their own reasons but eventually do over the course of the RP.
DP: Why would Leon be unwilling?
T: I'm just thinking back to his having to leave the party at the end of FFII over guilt for his actions earlier in the game - but I'll admit I'm not too wily about the guy.
T: Let's see... Cloud, Terra, Tidus, Jecht, Golbez, Leon, Gilgamesh, Gabranth...Kuja would be the final one... Hmm... I'd rather go with a round number but do you think 9 'balance' figures would be enough or should we try and have a secret extra one as a plot twist?
DP: hmm....it would be a super-late arrival but this could be an excuse to pull in Vayne....
T: Indeed! Or Genesis - either of them would fit that role perfectly.
DP: Genesis was technically in this but he's kinda been ignored...In fact at one point we originally planned to try out a Gen/Light ship...but then Sieg/Light happened and kicked the idea to the curb (Istillshipithough)
T: Well then we've got 11 people to accept the balance. Perhaps one of them is targeted (not by Barty but by Garland since he'd want the cycles to continue and Shinryu to not be threatened) but because there's a secret one lying around the barrier is broken anyway?
T: We need to relay this to Rai and work out the mechanics of this...
DP: indeed..tbh I have doubts about introducing Vayne so late in the rp...
T: I can understand that. Well in that case then we only need 10 as the 'magic number'. I'll copy and paste a transcript to her journal stat.