So, Yeah: The “HELLO” Edition

[railenthe]

I’m going for another word sprint today.  I set myself up for half a failure when I set a goal of 4k words a day, I realize, but I also realized a few other things during the last three sprints:

• I write better either heavily caffeinated or slightly drunk.  HELLO BOTTOMLESS LATTES.
• I can quite easily make 2k words a day if I sit down and actually sprint in bursts of an hour and a half at a time.  HELLO PROGRESS
• I am most productive when I am supposed to be sleeping. Of course this means morning grogginess.  …HELLO BOTTOMLESS LATTES.
• Video game music remixes done in the style of a theatrical score are positive catnip for the muses.  HELLO BLACK OMEN REMIX.
• Heavy writing is, despite the amount of sitting on my narrow ass, does count as a physical activity…if the way I feel wiped out after a surprise 4k sprint is any indication.  No wonder I’m having blood sugar issues during this thing.  …HELLO HOMEMADE WAFFLES.
• HELLO LEARNING SPELLCHECKER:  Placed at the front because this one is so damned important:  I can set Scrivener’s spellchecker to learn names.  This doesn’t seem that important at first aside from removing that blasted squiggly red line that pops up everyone someone new speaks until you realize that, combined with the Autocorrect function, you can make names with extra ornaments—like my healer’s name, Richéa, which requires a full stop to type so that you can hit “ALT+0233”—autocorrect to what they’re supposed to be just by lazy typing: the e becomes é right off the bat and you don’t have to think about it at all!  HELLO, INDEED, LEARNING SPELLCHECKER.
• I work better when I can stop and eat every half hour or so.  Which is why noon will be spent preparing for a sprint session beginning at 1 PM.

 

Another PLAN?!one eleventy

 

I’m still about 5k words behind the average.  If I write 2k a day, I’ve caught up in four days or so (because the extra 400 words in four days adds up to a free day earned.  Ladies and gentlemen, the second thing that makes me do math.  The other one is cooking).  But I have to have a plan.  I have to have not just any plan.  I have to have a cunning plan.  AND HERE IT IS.

 

1. COOK MANY THINGS.
2. Decant concentrated espresso coldbrew concentrate.
3. Place the MANY THINGS THAT WERE COOKED in a warm oven so that they’re warm whenever I stop to eat.
4. EAT.
5. HAVE A LATTE.
6. WRITE.
7. Stop for fifteen minutes.
8. REPEAT STEPS FOUR FIVE AND SIX.

LiveJournal Tags: writing,nanowrimo,original,rai gets pwned

Comments

CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

LAUGHING FOREVER!

*WILD, RAPTUROUS CLAPPING*

(AND NOW I'M PRETTY SURE THE REASON HIS HAIR FEATHER IS EVEN MORE RIDICULOUSLY BIG WAS AN INITIAL ATTEMPT TO TRY AND LOOK TALLER. BEFORE HE BEGAN MILKING THAT SHOOPUFF STUFF.)

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[railenthe.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU! AND THANK YOU AGAIN!

KUJA'S FIRST ATTEMPTS AT LOOKING TALLER WERE DONE WITH HEELS. HE GAVE THAT UP WHEN HE REALIZED THAT THEY DESTROYED HIS FEET. THEN HE DECIDED TO TRY HAIR STYLES. BUT HE LOOKED RIDICULOUS WITH HIS HAIR TEASED SO HIGH.

THEN, GLORY FROM THE HEAVENS, HE DISCOVERED SOMETHING SO FINE, SOMETHING SO GLORIOUS, THAT IT SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN A GIFT FROM THE GODS THEMSELVES: A LOVELY FEATHER, EVEN MORE MARVELOUS THAN THE ONE HE'D PICKED UP FROM THAT HABERDASHER AT ALEXANDRIA, THAT WOULD SURMOUNT HIS LOVELY SILVER LOCKS AND MAKE HIM APPEAR TALLER.

OF COURSE ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BEFORE HE DISCOVERED THAT LOVELY SWEET TREAT: CHOCOLATE SHOOPUF MILK.

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

LITTLE KNOWN FACT: KUJA'S LACK OF WALKING IS ACTUALLY DUE TO SEVERE FEET SCARRING COURTESY OF ENCASING THEM IN TIGHT HEELS FOR TOO LONG. EVEN TO THIS DAY WALKING 10 YARDS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF STEPPING ON KNIVES FOR HIM.

AND WHEN HE LACKS A PEN TO COMPOSE SONNETS WITH, THE FEATHER CAN ALSO BE USED AS A HANDY QUILL! (MY LEGITIMATE THEORY ON THE FEATHERS IS THAT THEY ARE HIS REAL HAIR BUT CHARMED SOMEHOW BECAUSE HE WANTED TO STAND OUT FROM ALL THE STRAW-HEADS WITH PAGEBOY HAIRCUTS.)

IT WAS A DELICIOUS YET FATTENING MISTRESS! FOR EVERY CM THAT WENT TO HIS HEIGHT, ANOTHER GREW AROUND HIS WAIST! (THERE WAS EVEN A PERIOD WHEN HE WAS FORCED TO WEAR GRANNY PANTIES BECAUSE THE CODPIECE WOULDN'T FIT UNTIL HE WENT ON A DIET!)

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[railenthe.livejournal.com]

HE'D DECIDED THAT THE ABUSE OF THE HEELS WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT WORTH IT, EVEN IF THEY DID MAKE HIM LOOK FABULOUS. HE NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND WHY MATEUS WENT AROUND IN COMBAT STILETTOS AT ALL TIMES--AND ULTIMECIA'S BAREFOOT PHILOSOPHY BEGAN TO MAKE MUCH SENSE TO HIM.

EXCEPT HE WAS EVEN SORTER WITHOUT SHOES OF ANY SORT. SO THAT WAS RIGHT OUT.

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THAT FEATHER THAT HE HAD TO REMEMBER: RINSE BEFORE REINSERTING INTO HAIR. HE WOUND UP WITH BLUE HIGHLIGHTS ONCE WHEN HE FORGOT, AND WHILE THIS DREW COMPLIMENTS FROM SOME GARISHLY MADE-UP HARLEQUIN, HE DECIDED THAT IT WAS NOT IN HIS TASTE. (WITH HIS POWER HE COULD DO THAT. I BET THAT'S NOT FAR OFF THE MARK.)

AND THE OTHER WAYS IT CONSPIRED AGAINST HIM! THE DEVIL THAT WAS TRIPLE-VEINTE SHOOPUF-MOCHA-LATTES! HE LOVED THE SUGAR! HE ADORED THE CAFFEINE! …HE WAS NOT A FAN OF THE LARGER BELT SIZE. WHATEVER WAS A SHORT GENOME TO DO? HE WANTED TO BE TALL, NOT ROUND!

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

METHINKS THAT FOOT BINDING MAY HAVE BE A POPULAR PRACTICE AMONGST PALAMECIAN NOBILITY - THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN THE CASUAL WAY MAT STROLLS AROUND IN THOSE HEELS. (EVEN THOUGH HE DOES CHEAT BY FLOATING A LOT.) NEEDLESS TO SAY THE MOOGLE MADE A TIDY SUM SELLING FOOT SPAS TO THOSE PRETTYBOYS ON CHAOS WITH THEIR STUPID TASTE IN SHOES.

CONSIDERING HOW BAD THIS WAS WHEN HE FIRST TURNED UP IN DISSIDIA AND WAS MISTAKEN FOR A SHOTA, THE BOOTS COULD NOT GO.

DYEING HIS HAIR IS SUCH A METICULOUS PROCESS. HE HAS TO BE SURE THAT NOT A TRACE OF THAT VILE DIRTY BLOND BESMIRCHES HIS HAIR BUT THOSE FEATHERS MUST BE TREATED WITH THE UTMOST CARE. TOO MUCH FORCE WHEN COMBING IN AND THEY'LL BE YANKED RIGHT OUT! (HE EVEN GOES TO THE TROUBLE OF DYEING THE TAIL SO THAT THEY MATCH EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS GOING TO SEE IT.)

THE MILKSHAKE WAS THE WORST! DAMN RIGHT IT WAS BETTER THAN YOURS!

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[railenthe.livejournal.com]

TEAM CHAOS IS WHY THE MOOGLE SHOPS ARE RECESSION PROOF. FOOT SPAS, COMBAT STILETTOS, HEALTH AND BEAUTY PRODUCTS, AND MIRACLE-GRO ARE A SURE BET FOR ANY RESPECTABLE SHOPMOOGLE, KUPO!

HE GOT TIRED OF HAVING TO SHOUT "I AM NOT A LITTLE BOY!" AT EVERY TURN. HE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE MISTAKEN FOR A CUTE LITTLE SHOTARO BOY AGAIN!

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

THE OTHER MOOGLES HAD LAUGHED THAT NO ONE WOULD BUY THAT MIRACLE-GRO; WORLD B WAS A BARREN LAND! THEN ALONG CAME A DEMON TREE WITH WOOD ISSUES AND THEY BEGAN MAKING A MINT. THIS ALSO LED TO THE PURCHASE OF NUMEROUS TWEEZERS FROM A YOUNG BLEACH BLOND LAD WHO KEPT PULLING A PAINED FACE AND WALKING IN A STRANGE WAY AS WELL AS MUTTERING ABOUT SPLINTERS...

THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME HE GOT MISTAKEN FOR AN ONION KNIGHT. AS WELL AS ALL THOSE OCCASIONS HE RAN INTO JECHT AND LAGUNA AND THEY WOULD START MUMBLING ABOUT HOW KIDS THESE DAYS DRESS LIKE HOOKERS AND WONDERED WHAT THE HELL CHAOS WAS DOING USING A RUGRAT. THOUGH THE REAL INSULT WAS KEFKA CALLING HIM "BABY" AND TRYING TO STICK A DIAPER ON HIM.

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[railenthe.livejournal.com]

AND THEN THERE WAS THAT TIME WHEN HE WAS MISTAKEN FOR A WOMAN.
BY EVERYONE.

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

IT HAPPENS AT LEAST ONCE PER CYCLE. ACTUALLY BY 012 IT HAD GOT TO THE STAGE WHERE HE WAS SO FED UP HE WAS ALMOST TEMPTED TO JUST FOREGO THE CODPIECE SO THAT NO ONE WOULD JUMP TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION.

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[railenthe.livejournal.com]

THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT CHAOS WILL NOT STAND FOR SCHLONG HANGING OUT. SO HE TAKES ANOTHER OPTION:

ABS OF ADAMANTITE.

Re: CAPSLOCK APPLAUSE!!!

[toffeethesnob.livejournal.com]

AH YES, THE ERR, SPORADICALLY DISAPPEARING ABS OF ADAMANTITE. (THE NOMURA ILLUSTRATION AND FFIX SUGGEST HE'S ALL FLESH AND YET THE FMV AND GAME MODELS THINK HE'S BEEN TAKING VAAN'S 12 STEPS FOR THE PERFECT CHEESEGRATER ABS. REALLY IT'S LITTLE WONDER THAT MY DRAWINGS OF NAKED!KUJA ARE NEVER CONSISTENT...)

HOWEVER IT STILL DID NOT PREVENT LAGUNA COMMENTING ON HOW A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL LIKE KUJA SHOULDN'T BE RUINING 'HER' FIGURE BY ATTEMPTING TO GAIN MUSCLE MASS.