railenthe | I find it amusing that people know to avoid me when I drop cluster “BUGGER!” bombs, even when it sou

(As weird as that may sound coming from an American phillistine, it goes over far better than when I drop Cluster F-bombs. Good thing, too. I get a hell of a lot of mileage out of that one lately.)

Once again I am fed up.

I’m so fed up that buying a six-pack of Kahlua sounded like a good idea. Only problem is. The taste of alcohol. Yack. The good news is that I no longer feel compelled to drink to relax. The bad news is that I can’t seem to find something that works. Well, besides being asleep—but that isn’t exactly foolproof. But then I had an idea: sugar.

So I just had a whole lot of ice cream and a pack of Reese’s peanut butter cups. Mmm, so much chocolate today. And Sugar. And fat.

Of course I chased it with my fat-burner pills. I would’ve pumped iron instead but I might’ve taken matters into my own hands to deal with another panic-induced flashback by way of a double-dose of Flexeril. I feel noodly and physically relaxed even if my mind is still doing the “stupid chattering ADHD-and-amphetamine-addled monkey” routine.

I’ve got some considering to do. My nerves haven’t really recovered after another…incident…today. Jerk in the building today messed with me. Bigger jerk laughed at me. I came THIS CLOSE to shovng a roll of quarters down her throat. I don’t think I’ll be making myself social tonight. I’m going to try to get some writing done, but there’s no guarantees that I’ll get much done. I know one thing, though. This is a “me” night. I need to be fresh in the morning for work.

Especially since the last paycheck was a measly $30 affair—not even enough to keep ahold of my insurance. The next one will be a lot better—IF I can keep my head on straight.

…my Seredyn better show up in the mail tomorrow. Chewing valerian, while effective, makes one smell like a patch of grass and pepper, and that is just a tiny bit unorthodox.

Easy does it, right?