Again, I lose a furbaby…

[railenthe]

On Saturday night, we found out from the friend who has been fostering her that my dear, dear kitty Shelly has died.

We don’t know what happened, or precisely when.

She was found curled up in one of her favorite spots, looking like she was peacefully sleeping.

I am of two minds of this situation.

The first is that I could have done more, surely, to keep her from dying.

The second is knowing damn well that Shelly, dear Shelly, is a little old lady of a cat.  …I mean, I guess, was a little old lady of a cat.

She loved nothing more than laying either as close to her favorite people as possible. Usually, this meant that she would be laying right on top of you, no matter what you were trying to get done. You ever peel potatoes with a cat wrapped around your shoulders, attempting to help with her little bitty finger knives? It’s ridiculous.

It’s ridiculous and I’m going to miss that kind of ridiculous.

I’ve been beating myself up since Saturday despite there being nothing that I could have done about it. This is the way it goes with me: shit goes bad, and my first thought is that there was something I could have done more or differently to stop it from happening. I mean fuck, it’s not like I can stop time—I am not Bayonetta—but I would make some unholy bargains if I had the option.

I guess there’ll be two little fuzzy dummies greeting me the next time I Exit.

LiveJournal Tags: update,ramble,rant,tw pet death,all cats are kittens,big sad