Hmm. Followers, Leaders, and Shells…
Jun. 25th, 2006 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
railentheThree updates in one day. Geez.
I just had this thought, and didn't think that the gist of it would fit in a list of those 'edited entry' setups. So I'm posting it as the third entry that I've made today. Which I find a bit odd, since I rarely do things like that. But rarely do I have thoughts like these. Though it becomes more and more common the closer that I come to snapping entirely. So I'll just talk right now.
I just had this thought, and didn't think that the gist of it would fit in a list of those 'edited entry' setups. So I'm posting it as the third entry that I've made today. Which I find a bit odd, since I rarely do things like that. But rarely do I have thoughts like these. Though it becomes more and more common the closer that I come to snapping entirely. So I'll just talk right now.
Ever had this thought that you're not who you think you are? Or that you're not what everyone tells you that you are? I've been having thoughts like that a lot lately. It might be partly to blame on the situation. I am currently stuck in a situation where people seem to think that I am doing nothing but following what other people want to see. That I am doing nothing but following a trend, and that I am not being me.
I find accusations like this to be so completely ridiculous that it's really pointless to rant on and on about it. But, after hearing it for so many months, and after hearing it yet again, it got my mind to going.
Yes, that is a dangerous sitiuation: my mind in motion. But it's what happened.
It goes like this: Some people are pure followers. They find something and latch onto it, without thought for what it could mean. There are other kinds of followers as well. They know what they are doing when they latch onto something, but regardless, they are followers first and foremost, with no real identity of their own. It is almost as though they are chameleons, blending into the group seamlessly. It gets to the point that they've followed for so long, they have no clearcut identity of their own.
I've been called one of these kinds of people a lot recently. I ignore it. At least, I attempt to ignore it. It's a lot easier than bitching at people.
It didn't really bother me really, until something activated the philosophy-side of my head in the last hour. Taking the above into consideration, it raises this question: When the assumed identy is stripped away, what do you have left?
I don't know why I started thinking of this. But I did. And it got me to wondering. Just how much of my identity can be claimed as my own? How much of it is posturing effected to please others, and how much of it is a screen to hide a truthful Nothing? Am I anything that I say I am? Is any of it really connected to me?
What's anything worth when you don't know if it's actually there?
Stripping away these follower-attributes…leaves a shell. Are many of us—hells, am I—nothing but shells to be molded and filled? What is our will if we are naught but shells?
…well, damn. What the hell just happened? …right, perhaps I should just try to stop thinking. Didn't work last time, but, worth a shot.
I find accusations like this to be so completely ridiculous that it's really pointless to rant on and on about it. But, after hearing it for so many months, and after hearing it yet again, it got my mind to going.
Yes, that is a dangerous sitiuation: my mind in motion. But it's what happened.
It goes like this: Some people are pure followers. They find something and latch onto it, without thought for what it could mean. There are other kinds of followers as well. They know what they are doing when they latch onto something, but regardless, they are followers first and foremost, with no real identity of their own. It is almost as though they are chameleons, blending into the group seamlessly. It gets to the point that they've followed for so long, they have no clearcut identity of their own.
I've been called one of these kinds of people a lot recently. I ignore it. At least, I attempt to ignore it. It's a lot easier than bitching at people.
It didn't really bother me really, until something activated the philosophy-side of my head in the last hour. Taking the above into consideration, it raises this question: When the assumed identy is stripped away, what do you have left?
I don't know why I started thinking of this. But I did. And it got me to wondering. Just how much of my identity can be claimed as my own? How much of it is posturing effected to please others, and how much of it is a screen to hide a truthful Nothing? Am I anything that I say I am? Is any of it really connected to me?
What's anything worth when you don't know if it's actually there?
Stripping away these follower-attributes…leaves a shell. Are many of us—hells, am I—nothing but shells to be molded and filled? What is our will if we are naught but shells?
…well, damn. What the hell just happened? …right, perhaps I should just try to stop thinking. Didn't work last time, but, worth a shot.
