The Adventures of Railenthe and the Elitist Asshole on the Bus.

[railenthe]

The other day, I got called off of work.  It had just been the status quo for the week—the fourth time that week, so I hadn’t worked a day that week yet.  As such I found myself on the bus going the opposite way than the usual for nine-thirty in the morning.  I had headphones on so that I could enjoy the soundtrack to FF Dissidia,  but they weren’t too high…seeing as I tend to die loudly.  Why don’t the computer-controlled opponents die so loudly?

Wait, now I know: because I suck at fighting ‘Vicious’-level opponents.  Back to the bus.

I hopped on, stumbling a bit on the edge of my coat, but made it on and swiped my pass.  I sat down, remembering this guy I’d heard a few moments ago how I’d passed a guy talking loudly on his cellular phone about the fact that the eastbound train he was on went out of service and that now he’d have to get onto a bus to get into Shiloh.  Apparently my fellow locals decided it’d be funny to let him stay perplexed, and so no one told him that five minutes after the blue line train stopped and reversed, a red line train going all the way to Scott AFB would be arriving—much faster than getting on the bus all the way there.

 

Well, that guy landed on my bus.  I was just about to one-shot that damn Exdeath when he started ranting LOUDLY about the backwards public transit system in these parts.  “I mean, I’m from Chicago,” I heard him rant in this accent that wasn’t.  “Trains every five minutes, and they don’t never go out of order like this!  This is BULLSHIT, man.”  I can’t be certain if he was in fact from Chicago, but the entire schpiel revealed that he wasn’t all that bright.  The blue line train said that it stopped at Fairview, after all, so it wasn’t going to get him to Shiloh; furthermore the conductor makes it known where a train’s final stop will be at every pause at platform.  A train going out of service always announces when the one continuing the route will be coming—or rather they should.  Sometimes they don’t.  This time they did.  Complete with a “The next red line train will be arriving in four minutes.  Thank you for riding Metro and have a blessed day.”  So he had ample warning.

But, as the late great Jim White always used to say on kmox:  “You can’t fix stupid.”

I put Exdeath in his place for a second time in a row in time to hear “This fake-ass bus” out of Elitist Chicagoan Ass.  His rant consisted mostly of things like casual observances of the people around him on the bus (“Bunch of country-ass motherfuckers,” which, coming out of his mouth sounded more country than we do!  “Countrass mo-foss.”) and his review on our bus’s currently stopped state (“Bus don’t never stop up in Chicago, what the fuck is this shit?”).

I didn’t believe him; you have to give drivers a break at each switchover—state law at the very  least.  More importantly, I could not believe this guy!  The biggest asshole I’d run into on the bus in a very long time.  I turned around in my seat briefly.  The guy was sitting in a window seat, kind of scrunched off to one side as if he was trying to avoid ‘the townies.’

“Dude, if you didn’t notice, three red-line trains going to Shiloh have just passed you up while you’ve sat here bitching about the bus driver being on his break.  If you’ve really got such a problem with our system, then get the hell off the bus and call a fucking taxi.”

…is what I wanted to tell that guy, but I decided to be nice and just opted for a pissed off glare.  A quick sweep of the area revealed that I was at least the fourth person to throw one of those glares at the Elitist Asshole.  I actually considered getting off a couple of stops early.  Luckily my stop came up quickly enough that I didn’t have to gouge my eyes our or something.

Did Elitist Asshole ever reach his destination?  Or was he doused in flaming Everclear by a mob of angry locals?  I don’t know.  I kind of hope it’s the latter.